Pinksoil, I got the image of a very large dog thinking she's still a puppy trying to do the lap thing :-)

My group, back in the 1970's use to meet at one of the therapist's houses (she had MS and couldn't get out reliably so we started meeting at her house). It was a long-running group, 10+ years, very stable - few left or joined, about 8 members? Anyway, we'd go to her house and meet in her living room and she had pets, couple dogs and a cat I think. One dog was an old curmudgeon and the other a puppy and, for some reason, she'd ask me each week if the puppy should be allowed to stay inside! It was "my" puppy or something, I did like it and pet it most, and it "stayed" by me, etc. but it was startling to have her call from the kitchen with the group almost assembled, asking if I wanted the dog in or out. I always felt sorry for/anxious about the dog and my deciding its fate and voted for in :-) whether I was in the mood for it or not.

But the other dog was old and unfriendly and often would sit on the T's lap and one week suddenly snapped at her! She pushed it off her lap. I cried out and stammered something like, "what if it couldn't help itself, what if it didn't mean to snap at you and needs to sit on your lap?" I rarely talked in group and so you can see how the T would grab at this whole emotional outburst :-) and she did, turned her laser eyes/heart/mind toward me and me only and started talking about her and the dogs long history together and how well they knew each other and how the dog knew her well enough to know she loved him and it was just one incident, not the whole of their relationship and all would be well with her and the dog but he could not be allowed that kind of behavior, etc.

It was a life-changing object lesson for me and from then on when my individual T and I would have difficulties communicating I was able to give her the benefit of the doubt and keep on working, sure of her desire to help and communicate with me, etc. If I found myself estranged from her I'd keep working on the session to see what it was I didn't understand/see, knowing that she wasn't deliberately being mean or unreasonably angry or hadn't said something unconsciously just to hurt me (as my stepmother always did (and I in return did to her)). Put the terror I felt when the group T pushed that dog off her lap, I still feel thinking about it :-) It was like it was me she was pushing off her lap.