I am so fed up of been depressed, meds seem to work and then they are not. This up and down is driving me crazy, I feel like crying all the time but I can't. Maybe a good would be a great way to get relief.

I have been feeling like this since January, I am now taking risperdal and just started on lamictal. Risperdal has eased the suicidal Ideations they were incredibly strong. They took a lot out of me and wore me down, the depression and racing thoughts have got better. I just now feel so fed up with been dx with BP1 what a crock of s**t.

I am feeling very sorry for myself and I think it's somewhat justified. I am praying that this is the end and my moods stabilize and I get some happy/normal time. At times I feel good and then suddenly from nowhere I am back to feeling depressed and having intrusive thoughts that are disturbing. Then I am back to feeling ok, but I am not functioning like I should be.

As I have only been recently dx, I have had mania with psychotic features then crushing depression. Does this mean that I should have normal functioning again, or can I suffer again with mania or depression. I am not sure what to expect and I am frightened of not really knowing. I really want to try and get functioning, I am feeling useless. My family are supportive but I am feeling guilty that I am not able to do daily stuff.

Thanks for allowing me to vent a bit Things can only get better




Annmaria