I agree.....sex is designed to be a bonding within the marriage.

I think however is a girl/woman had been married before & only had sex within her marriage vows & they you met her & were attracted to her it could be seen the same as being a virgin because she has the same value for sex that you do.....only within the marriage.

It can also be that a woman might have had sex with someone & then realized that having sex outside of marriage wasn't what she wanted & then abstained until finding the right guy to marry. She wouldn't actually be a virgin, but in her heart & in her beliefs, it should be considered equal.

It seems to me that what you really want to look for is not necessarily a virgin BUT someone who now only believes that sex should be held sacred between husband & wife.

I was married for 33 years......after I left, just having sex is NOT AN OPTION. I will never have sex again with a man unless I end up getting married again (which is highly unlikely after what I lived with for all those years).

It seems like your focus should be on her values more than if she has had sex before IMO.