hello,

welcome to the forums. i'm no expert in relationships. in fact, the only ones i have are with fellow employees, and they're all platonic.

i have a question about dating a co-worker. do the two of you work closely together or are you in different departments? i have had friends who worked together and saw each other outside of work and it made things tough for both the work environment and off hours. i'm not saying this would be true for you or others, but it's just something to think about.

i am very much like this woman you speak of. i'm very afraid to be involved in a relationship for fear of abandonment. or worse, that i would let the other person down, that i'd do something awful. i often dream of someone being interested in me enough to have a relationship with me, but then i think that if it were real, i would probably sabotage it.

the only one who can answer your questions is you, of course. there might be another approach you could take. first, think of yourselves as already being in a relationship: a worker relationship, as co-workers. maybe there is a different approach you could take. i think that communication should be the cornerstone to that approach. as for considering having a relationship with her, beyond work, why would it be wrong for you to consider? because it may never happen? how much time are you willing to give it to find out? which leads to your last question: what would happen if you did give it more time to develop?

best wishes to you,

splash