hi Donna,

nice to see you back again. I wish that I had even a little good outside of my son........to feel that mythical word "happiness". Yes, my T sees right through me, stuck little chisel marks in my walls today and that frightened me. I know that he is one of the few that could actually help me.

He thought that I was afraid to reach out for help to him because I didn't believe he would be there.......quite the opposite as I told him today. I know he would be there and would work through most anything with me. Sounds strange that I am pushing him away then, doesn't it? I guess it is just my belief that I am not really worth saving, but that subject is argue constantly back and forth.

He kept digging today about "how" I was feeling before and after, so I'm glad that the nothingness did exist. He had me wondering if maybe I missed something.

Thank you for responding.

Mary Alice