Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruari
...If you're naturally an introvert, telling you to walk in, smile, and say hello sort of goes against who you fundamentally are, and it would backfire...
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I think the "going against who I fundamentally am" part is what makes me so irritable when I try to force myself to be around people/be sociable. I feel like its the "right" thing to do but my body almost physically rejects the idea.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
What are you doing for all those hours alone in your room?...You said your mother is alone in a house full of people. That is so sad. What would change if there were no electronics?
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When no electronics are in use, my house is usually asleep. We all, somewhat, isolate. In my isolation I am playing a game on my tablet (like a city building game), sleeping, staring at a wall. Occasionally I will try writing a pen pal or watch a show but it depends on how much energy I feel I can expend. I spend a
large bulk of time daydreaming or imagining social scenarios in my head.
In regards to my mom. T feels its more of a "she made her bed now lay in it" kind of thing, as growing up wasn't all that precious - but (and call it the dependent part of me) I do greatly love my mother and care about her being "not depressed" in her isolation. T also mentioned that my mother and I have an enmeshed relationship and we are likely differentiating a bit which is causing my mother, and possibly myself, to grieve.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talthybius
To me it is "How to be perceived as nice."
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Yeah, this is true to a degree. But i'm already perceived as "nice" by basically everyone (though they know I can throw an occasional mood, i'm basically viewed as that happy go lucky, no care in the world, kind of person). I think I want to invest equally what is invested in me. So, I feel like I should dedicate some time away from myself to focus on what others want or to make them feel special, or to have some time where their presence is enjoyed without any need attached (which is also how I would like to be treated, though most the time I am needed which kind of kick started the isolation).
Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
......Of course your T wasn't going to tell you that all you have to do is walk into a room and smile...
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(Repeat of what I told Talthy ^^). I did talk to T though, and explain my frustration with not being told what I want. She said that she will try to be more practical in her advise when we discuss it again.
Today, I was able to be sociable with my mom for a consistent three hours. I could tell she felt heard and loved, and enjoyed the interaction. I didn't mind because i'd had a lot of quiet time before and had a nap as well. I kind of forced myself to sit down and listen to her, and though I zoned out a small bit, it wasn't so hard today. How do I do this on the not so easy days?