I want to start off I survived a sleep seizure that last almost 2 hours. I have a small history of epilepsy and have neurolical diagnosis of stiff person syndrome.

I'm angry and upset how I will die one of these days because I realized no one will help me because they don't see me as not ok and when they do they treat me and play down until they actually see me I'm pain or medically in trouble.

I'm sad because why was all my life I'm never getting help I needed and people ask me why I don't get good help because they don't try. Medical professionals psych Dr's all of them gave up on me.

I secretly want a best friend or a person I do and up dating knows how to best respond in the moment situations where I can die from shock and hurting myself or suffocating like I almost did earlier.

Like I can't tell you how helpless I feel. I called off work to be safe and like I had people help me.

I'm too scared to sleep.