I want to carve into myself to see what it looks like but if I do I'll be back in the hospital. Stupid Dr's not understanding. I don't get my shot for another 8 days and only have kolodipin to level me out but that only puts me to sleep! Maybe my husband is right and miguel should stay with his family. He said it so we could be " together" all day. I stayed out of the hospital for a year and don't have any plans to go back so I won't do anything stupid.