You said you knew your man had been hurt in a/relationship(s); mine had been married before (for nearly 20 years) and he had quite a few little "quirks" of his own I helped him with. He was horribly embarrassed when he told me he enjoyed lingerie (on women :-) because his ex-wife had thought that was disgusting or something? I think everyone gets their own little "problems" as they go along and maybe he has some of his own and you're actually braver than he about sharing! You could be just as helpful to him with your understanding as it sounds like he could be for you with his.