My wife had elective gallbladder surgery 1 year ago. While coming out of anesthesia, she experienced pulmonary edema, for which a cause was never identified. She left the hospital after 2 days in ICU. Her cardiologist told her she had a mild heart attack (troponin was very slightly elevated) and suffered congestive heart failure. We have seen 3 cardiologists since then, and 5 echocardiograms and 1 nuclear stress test later, they found no heart problems. 2 Months after this surgery, she became pregnant with our 2nd child. 2 months into the pregnancy, she started to collapse (legs give out, no loss of consiousness), numb arms, chest pain and palpitations, and also tachycardia. She is convinced that her heart is damaged and the doctor's are wrong or are covering up for the hospital that did the surgery. We had a healthy son last month, but she still feels her heart is damaged, or why would she still feel this way. She is talking about getting another stress test or heart catherization done.
Any time I've mentioned to her or her family that we should talk to someone (i.e. therapy), she flips out and our marriage suffers. She feels that I think she is faking her symptoms. I am under constant stress that anything I say will cause us to divorce. I am afraid of what will happen to her, and her ability to care for our 2 young children if she is not helped. Her mother is an undocumented borderline personality who is also a hypochondriac. Her father blindly follows her mothers direction. Her father has disowned his own father and sister at his wife's insistence.
I love my wife dearly. How can I get her the help she needs?