Hello Blue Bicycle. It must be so painful and frustrating for you to hide your feelings away like that. Are you ok? Are you alone with your diagnosis, or do you have support? Is there no way to get through to them?

(This gets really long...sorry...i just haven't had anyone to talk to)

I am happy my husband read up a bit, and acknowledged that it's important to me that he understands. It will just make our relationship much stronger. I won't have to hide away by myself, and he won't have to feel as if he's walking on eggshells around me. He has now become interested in meeting and speaking with my mental health professionals. It makes me feel a lot better knowing he is ok with, and sincerely interested in my illness'. It will alleviate some of my feelings of guilt for times when I am unable to be social and want nothing to do with the outside world.

The visit with my mother and family will be nice. My father suffers from untreated depression, I can't say for certain what else he may have as he's never been to a pdoc. He may be bipolar, but I've never spoken with him about anything aside from his depression and having insomnia. He's been prescribed Xanax for anxiety and difficulty sleeping by his GP. It's well known that mental illness is genetic. I see quite a bit of untreated as well as some treated mental illness in my family. The "norms" (for lack of a better term right now have no clue what we're going through. I've heard them accuse others of "making stuff up". The untreated are even worse off, because they're just stuck in a fog and hopeless.
No one sought help for the man even though they saw his behaviors. It really hit a nerve with me.

Ok...I will stop now. I'm just filled with so much of everything. I'm really sorry.