Thanks for checking in Dontspeak. I haven't really thought again about journaling. I do remember thinking on Thursday and Friday that I was not going to attempt to take notes during my workshop because I didn't think I would have very good notes -- meaning I thought they might be fragmented. Didn't really make a connection until now. I have been thinking a lot today and I decided that I would go ahead and journal. My handwriting looks a little more messy, but not a whole lot different.

I see signs that things are not going so smoothly. I just can't decide what to do with it. Do I wait it out, or do I give up? Is it withdrawal or do I need the meds? I feel like if I call my doctor, he is going to never agree to me trying to come off again. If I tell my therapist, she is going to call me irresponsible. If I tell my friends, they will be frustrated. And my family. . . they are just clueless.

Today is not going so well. I'm in the bed. I made a goal earlier today to go to a meeting. I got dressed and went. I thought about the fact that sometimes when I get myself going, I will feel better and not want to lay back down. Not today. I landed back in bed, slept for two hours, woke up even more tired than I was before I went to sleep.

I sent a message to my case manager earlier today. She couldn't talk at the time. when she contacted me back. I was at the meeting. I told her we didn't have to talk. At the time, I thought I would be o.k. Now I regret that I told her that. I really don't have a plan. . .