Cash, what about just having 2 glasses of wine? Also remember, a week ago when life was falling apart between the two of you - he went to a movie. Tell him, you get tomorrow night off. I would suggest not going to your parents and sitting around talking about him and your brain - instead go alone, or with an old friend out to eat - without talking about your husband or your brain, see a movie - something. And pay attention to life outside of the clothes you are in.

And sweety, I am only saying the types of things that would have been good for me, that I didn't necessarily do when I was falling apart. I KNOW it isn't easy. I also know, you will survive this - what I hope for you is, you will survive it with as few regrets as possible. Maybe that is part of the key, asking yourself if you would be proud of something. Like, will you be proud of yourself for getting up and washing a wall, or more proud if you stay on the couch and think about life. Cause guess what, you can think AND DO, at the same time.

Funerals are things for the living, not for the dead. If he loved you, (the grandpa) he wouldn't care if you went or not. If you are determined to go, choose clothes NOW. Choose how you will answer questions. I would suggest taking a second vehicle if possible so you don't have to ride with your husband. I feel very strongly that you shouldn't ignore your self while taking care of him. That life is over, even if the marriage continues. He didn't respect you, so teach him that if he wants you, you come at the price of respect.

Change your computer password. Do not trust the kindness. I don't mean to be mean to him. I mean to be smart. And will you be proud of yourself if he leaves you and you look back at having given him your body when he has said it is over. I HATE that I tried to get my husband back that way. I hate myself for that. Not him, he was just being the creep he always was. But I lured him, and he said he would have sex with me, as long as I knew it changed nothing. I only did it twice thank goodness. But still, I have to live with it. If I enjoyed it, it might be different, but in 10 years I never had 1 orgasm with the man, and certainly not then.

Hugs!