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Old May 22, 2016, 03:28 AM
Icare dixit's Avatar
Icare dixit Icare dixit is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: A version of earth
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I had this "this is such a great idea, this is easy, clear as day and I'm very stable so it must be a great idea and easy and we should really do this" probably mildly manic state. It was rather non-affective, though.

It followed a "I can't keep this up, angry and irritable, overbearing, self-conscious" (latent) "preparing in the wings" depression stage. More (clearly) affective.

That followed a "steam ahead knowingly disrespectfully because what I have to say is extremely important and you should understand that" manic state. There is an unknowing alternative type.

That followed a "completely self-fulfilment and satisfaction, marvelling, ecstatic" stage.

Now, I'm just tired. Fearful of being tired. I fear it a little or rather think it's bad.

The manic stages have this oneness part which is as strong as the mania severity. I think that manic me is right: we are all different, but also the same, so there are specific states we share beyond just stability, mania and depression.

Edit:
There is a slowly emerging depression, slowly emerging and collapsing depression and a post-mania instant collapse state.

The is an "everything is different" depression and "everything is old an the same" depression stage.

There is an "everything is new and different, I'm part of something special" mania state. Also an "all the same, nothing special" mania variant.

As ElsaMars said, but maybe brought back to essentials, otherwise just an overlapping/similar state I experienced: an "absent, less/not aware, in the moment, not feeling, empty, understimulated, avolition" (SZ-like) depression stage. There is a manic variant, but it's "highly aware". I think hallucinations are common (in my situation, but it may not be essential; maybe creating more, twice as many, variants).
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
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Last edited by Icare dixit; May 22, 2016 at 04:02 AM.