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There is a "I'm stable but still not in control, this is confusing, rising anxiety, anger expression, I want to destroy everything, "The Joker", sometimes borderline antisocial, sometimes depressive" stability state.
Woke up three days in it. Had a few evenings being in it. Mostly before going really, mildly mixed.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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