Quote:
Originally Posted by smartiesparty
I have noticed that I find myself very stressed when there are kids (of 'talking age') present and I'm scared of them.
It's like kids have a free pass to say whatever they want just because they're young, so they can also say that I'm ugly or stupid or weird in front of company, and this usually makes the adults laugh while telling them 'you can't just say that'. I have had a lot of kids say in front of my family and friends that 'I'm weird' and so my family and friends are embarrassed because I'm very tense and too quiet that even a kid would notice I'm behaving weirdly because of my social anxiety.  |
I'm assuming you're talking about very young kids who have yet to learn about manners and etiquette rather than older kids (over age 10 or so) who should have learned this by now but are ill-mannered.
I guess if these are kids whose parents you know you could have a quiet word and explain about your discomfort, because really they shouldn't be laughing it off as it gives out the wrong message to kids. Just saying "You can't just say that" isn't adequate, it doesn't explain
why it is not acceptable. IMHO this is an issue with the parents and poor parenting, not the children.
Even young children can understand about others feelings if it is explained properly, so something like "Smartiesparty is feeling a bit worried/and or sad, today but we can help them by being kind", so if you know the parents maybe suggest this gently.
If these are children and parents who you don't know then if you are feeling able to maybe explain simply to the child "Yes, I'm not feeling very well today so I am a little quiet" or something along those lines. Whatever your comfort zone is, whatever words feel right to you.
The thing I find is that children are indeed honest, and so they respond best to honestly from the grown ups around them. Children may be unintentionally rude but they are capable of understanding as long as information is broken down appropriately to them. In fact as adults we are doing them a disservice if we don't help them learn and understand. Who knows, one day they may be the 'weird' one, and chances are they'll come across MI within their family and friends at some point or other.
Other than these suggestions I can only suggest avoiding the trigger situation but that may not be possible or helpful long term.