I understand this so well but I couldn't possibly be as condemning as Artchic...

You are both really really in a horrible situation. I know what it's like to be the one with depression in a relationship. I have no idea how my husband is able to tolerate being married to me, despite his reassurances. I cannot see how he wouldn't be better off if I was gone. But I would not survive on my own.
I truly am in awe of anybody who is the healthy one....the one who deals with it all, the one who picks up the slack without any idea when (or if) things will get back to normal, the one who has had this all pushed on them, the one who is beyond frustrated because they have never experienced it, the one who seems to have no influence on the other....

I just get it. I have no words to help. I just understand.