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Mild depression due to understimulation; mania due to finding or having created stimulation due to depression, but too much of it; depending on challenges short severe depression but may become mixed or, if I think I can continue, manic and then non-affective psychosis and a mixed state; severe, but atypical, depression due to overstimulation; mild depression or mixed state.
Unmedicated is pretty much continuously mixed with longer periods as just described. Same after a sudden rise in serotonin when medicated, as I discovered recently.
It's not continuous when medicated, but (some) others would say it is most of the time.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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