Hi everyone,

I know very little about Narcissism so I apologize if come off rude or ignorant!

I have recently learned that my family dynamic is purely narcissistic and I have been the brunt of it for years and years. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and Complex PTSD as a result.

I would like to educate myself so I am not hurt anymore. Ultimately I love these people and I have given them so many opportunities to show me love, only to be hurt whenever I become vulnerable. Time is up. I will no longer put up with it and I am putting my foot down.

I am the weakest I have ever been as I have been utilizing therapy as a safe haven for years in order to deal with this abuse at the hands of my family. This last year I saw a group of mental health professionals abuse me further. It was extremely traumatizing. Because of this, I went to my family looking for support and I was hurt even more. I have been given advice to NEVER speak to my family EVER again and I am starting to feel the need to do just that. I believe this is a sign of becoming healthy and gaining self-respect. All I ever get is invalidation and manipulation and judgments and abuse and betrayals... I am starting to realize how toxic they really are. It is absolutely disgusting. It is as if they are unable to feel empathy for me. And what did I ever do to them!?

Anyways. In order to make this important step in my recovery (because I will not allow them to kill me), I am going to separate myself from them without explanation. I am going to educate myself so that I can call them out. I am going to educate my extended family and friends so that they are aware of what is going on.

Where and how do I start?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz