I get something very similar. When manic, I get delusions that God wants me to kill myself and he's tormenting me. Other times the delusions tell me that other people are the ones trying to get me to kill myself and God is showing me to help me fight them and their evil. It's very scary and one of my worst symptoms.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope you are safe and not tempted to listen. I'm very obstinate and even when God is trying, I refuse to listen. But sometimes it gets too overwhelming and I've been tempted to listen because I couldn't handle the torment.

(((Hugs to you))). I hope you never have to go through this again.