I am about to make few very risky moves.

Like very risky.

Not sure it's worth it, but I hope it is.

It may **** me up even more, certainly it will leave some scars, but it needs to be done.

I just need to get through it, possibly enjoy doing it or at least not to break down in a critical moment.

Just think of me, okay?

(yeah, I know, cryptic. But that's all I can say atm).