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If you could choose between anxiety and psychosis, neuroticism and psychoticism, the psychosis being affective or non-affective, or just more of one and less of another, which one would you choose?
I don't know. I seem to choose psychosis unwittingly, to some extent, maybe not. But anxiety can be overcome and psychosis I'm not so sure about.
I just don't want it to be chronic. But if it is, you aren't aware, so without anxiety, it would be just fine. Rather lonely, not making much sense, but fine.
If it's a gradual worsening of psychoticism and psychosis. Purely neurodevelopmental.
I'd rather it be (mostly) affective.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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