I had this situation with my previous T. I wasn't wanting a hug from her for any other reason than that fact that I don't have other people in my life that I want hugs from, or that give hugs freely. I ended up writing it down on a piece of paper and giving it to her at the beginning of a session. She was very nice about it, and said, "yes, of course!"

I was leery about asking my T for a hug because I had read online that many T's don't touch their clients because of transference concerns, or they aren't comfortable with it themselves. But, I worked up the nerve to ask because I felt a strong need for some human contact.

We talked about it after the first hug, and she explained that some T's won't touch clients, but she was okay with it. She also said that she doesn't initiate it because she knows that some of her clients don't want to be touched. She went on to say that anytime I wanted a hug, she would be happy to.

With my new T (well, new in that I've been seeing her for about 18 months now), I haven't asked because I seriously believe she would be the type to say she doesn't touch her clients.

I understand the fear of rejection, and the embarrassment of "putting yourself out there" only to be denied. That's why I waited so long to even ask my previous T.

The only thing I can say is that I think it should be fine to ask - and if anyone should be able to take the sting out of the rejection it should be the T. I'm thinking about asking my current T for a hug - and explaining that I have very little human contact in my life. And, I guess if she says "no," I'll be in the right office for getting some comfort - with words only.

Good luck with your T, and I hope she is willing to have physical contact with her clients.

In the meantime, here's a virtual hug!