Hello Something is Wrong
From what you describe, you care about your boyfriend, he is very important for you, you would go "anywhere" with him and be there with him when he's ill.
Could it be that you feel love, but can't admit this feeling to yourself because you learned to surpress it in your family?
You said you asked your mom whether she loved your dad when five. This caused a deja vue in me because I did the exact same thing when I was five! With my parents, it was obvious that my father didn't love my mother, even though she used to deny it.
I think what happens to a child that gets told there is no such thing as love, of course (which is my opinion) this child feels love themself, but the belief to be a human exception in being capable of love would cause the child to be sad, deeply disapoointed and anxious (maybe I'm projecting too much of myself into you, don't know) and this child would seek to deny, disconnect and "through away" all feelings of love it might have to escape the feeling of emotional pain and disappointment that it is causing to love without reciprocation.
I'd suggest you to talk openly about what you are experiencing with your boyfriend. Tell him the exact things you wrote in here. This way he won't get hurt or upset, and you don't have to hide something.-
Hope my answer has been of some benefit for you.