Grief is a long painful process. I'm so sorry for your loss and pain and that you are being treated so terribly. Often, esp. when someone young dies suddenly, people close to the deceased for many reasons feel the need to blame whoever was "last to see them"... It's not your fault. I know that self blame can traumatizing enough without others misplacing their own feelings of helplessness, guilt, and lack of acceptance on your shoulders. In the short term as much as you can it maybe best to avoid contact and communication with those individuals. Deal with your grief and loss first... they need to do their own work too. Hopefully most of these individuals will come around and apologize once they reach some kind of acceptance and peace.. in the meantime, keep writing here, take advantage of the grief and loss forums, and try to find a grief counselor, or if you are religious at all most faith leaders are trained in grief counseling as well. Also look for bereavement support groups maybe a little out of your immediate area where you can feel safe discussing your thoughts and feelings w/o dreading running into the persecuting mob. My sincerest condolences.