Stayed up all night. Meaning, was able to fit 3 extra meals in. I don't even feel close to the surface (control/normalcy) but instead feel drowned in food addiction with no idea which direction to swim up to for air. Telling self, "JUST STOP EATING", but the voice is distant and lacks strength or conviction. I know time will turn, so I don't feel desperate or too depressed. I just feel, unable to fight.