Thanks for your reply, Finniky, I really appreciate it.

I should clarify that my bf never ever told me I was disgusting, otherwise I would have killed him right away. Perhaps it was unclear from what I wrote. It's me who feels disgusting.

Yeah, oral sex is definitely a trigger for me at the moment, but I am really dumbfounded because it's never been that way my whole life. It's very weird. Well, I didn't ask for it and he didn't offer it, he just did it, assuming I would have liked it - which is actually not so weird because at other times I had basically begged him to do it to me.

I guess you're right, I should avoid it until I'm healed more.

However, yesterday we managed some making out and it was good, although at first I was really scared.