Hi ((n.d.y)),

Good that you have figured out a core issue that you struggle with. When abuse like this takes place in one's history with a parent, it really can leave very deep challenges, especially in trusting others and also in trusting self to be equiped in how to be personally strong and confident around others. Therapy is helping you identify your core issue/hurt , the therapist is there to validate/witness with you that "yes" what your father did was wrong and you did not understand how to deal with it. However, you did find a way to remove him from your life. The "key" to gaining and slowly empowering yourself instead of thinking of yourself as one who is not able to be strong that has the ability to defend your personal boundaries, is to recognize your "hurts" and then work on building up an inner language where you gain on your ability to "self sooth and self empower".

Also, learning to recognize that when a parent or anyone is abusive verbally or physically, they are showing you their own lack of having good communication skills with others. People interact the way they "know how", if someone is abusive, that is all they "know" how to be because they themselves did not get what they needed to develop good people/relationship skills.

When we are children we are designed to look to our parents for nuturing and guidance.
So many who grow up with a parent that doesn't have good parenting skills/knowledge, make the mistake of feeling like it is "their fault" when the parents don't "know how" to be a good parent. That is like having someone teach you to read when they themselves don't really know how read and then they get angry and tell you it's your fault if you are not able to read, it's was never you that did anything wrong, it was the other person, understand?

To answer your question, yes, there are people out there in the world that do know how to be nicer/healthier people. There are also people out there in the world that "don't" know how, no one spent time with them and helped them develop that skill and personal confidence or to have the ability to respect others.