Different Ts have different approaches and styles. Some trauma therapists don't think hashing up past memories is healthy or productive especially if the trauma is far removed from the present and your more immediate needs are to learn to cope and tolerate present day triggers. Some believe the opposite, that it is nescary to uncover and relive the original trauma until the patient is able to move past it. IMO, the mark of a truly good trauma or any therapist is to take cue from their patient. Listen to both the patients thoughts on their present issues and concerns of underlying issues. If a patient says they would like to or feel the need to explore their past.. "that's not important" is a terrible insulting and most belittling statement ever! Complete invalidation!! Unacceptable! Give that T a terrible review on healthgrades.com and while your there look to see if their are any trauma specialist in area/ network who have positive reviews. I'm certain your bf really did not mean to be insensitive or hurtful with his statement. Not all people know what to say, just want to try to make their loved ones feel better.... I would believe that by minimalizing your trauma he was truly trying to make a whole hearted albeit poorly thought out attempt to say it's ok. I love you no less and now that I know this is an issue for you, we don't have to go there again unless you decide you want to. Most guys say stupid things that in their minds are the concise way of saying something along the lines of the above statement. boys. Hope you are able to find a good T. Wishing you all the best in your road to recovery.