(((((((((Cash))))))))) I'm concerned for you too, and Anrea put it well. I read your posts last night, but it was the middle of the night and I didn't know what to say. Basically... this sounds a whole lot like psychosis you've had in the past that turned very problematic. I'm all for feeling strong and (ack, still at loss for right words...) all, but it's beyond that a bit. Just saying. Not judging. Just concerned. Please be careful.