View Single Post
 
Old May 23, 2016, 06:41 PM
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
Disreputable Old Troll
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
Hello bowser93: I take it this is your biological mother... but you were adopted by someone else at age 2. Is that correct? The two of you are basically still strangers. Despite what one sees on TV my impression, from things I have read, is that these sorts of reunions often don't go all that well.

I don't know what your mother is incarcerated for. Perhaps what she has been doing, when you've seen her, is somehow connected to what got her into trouble in the first place. It's possible she has her own mental health struggles & that these contributed to her doing whatever it is she did. I think you can be confident that she cannot read your thoughts. However, it is certainly possible that she is skilled at using her "feminine wiles" to her advantage with a handsome young man. She may not know how to do differently. After all, she's been locked up for how many years?

Personally I don't see any shame here. Although she is, as I interpret your post, your biological mother... the two of you are still almost strangers. And, as you noted, she is a pretty woman. From my perspective, what you're experiencing is simply pretty normal male behavior! Most of us are programmed to be attracted to women... especially pretty women. It's just the way it works. Now having said that, certainly this situation is awkward. And it's one you no doubt want to handle carefully.

I don't know how long it has been since you visited your mother or whether you want to resume visiting her. If you're comfortable just not going back, that would certainly be the simplest solution. But, are you going to carry around a load of guilt if you don't see her again? If so, then I think you may want to consider talking this situation over, at some length, with a therapist... someone who can help you to sort through your emotions & come up with some strategies for how to handle the situation. This isn't something that can be accomplished here on PC or in one or two therapy sessions. It's going to take a while to figure out. But from what you wrote, it sounds like you have 4 years.

I wish you the best with regard to this most difficult situation.
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
Thanks for this!
bowser93