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Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods
We are broken. Everyone we have ever tried to trust has hurt us, blamed us and left us. Is it all or any of our faults? Idk... My SO, soon to be ex I feel, told me that everybody hurts us because we make them. That it's no one's fault but us and it will always keep happening. I was the strong one... I never allowed myself to love. I had to protect everyone from the world. I was fun carefree probably the most functional... met him long ago.. tried hard to fight myself from wanting to be with him.. it was no use and then my counter part, she loved him too. Our fate was sealed. Now decades later, I don't reconcile him. My sister is beyond broken she can't take anymore pain. I cant even console her cuz we have been cut off from each other for yrs now...but her pain and sorrow reverberates thru out every realm. Idk what to do anymore. I know I should end it. The majority is angry and wants vengeance. My half sister is the dragonslayer... she says she will do it for me... but it is my love and my problem to deal with. But I'm not the same as I used to be. And I don't understand why he turned on us. He is treating us as badly as everyone else had, but keeps saying he loves us or me? Says he still wants a life with us.. but doesn't show love or concern anymore. I look at him and see indifference. I always have been desired, pursued, wanted or straight up hated. I don't understand indifference. Nobody has a ever ignored me before! He says that's not true, I'm just being too demanding... but I know that reading verbal and non verbal cues has,always been a strength of mine as has being able to shrug it off and move on...but now I can't summon that 2nd strength. What do we do?? And how do I even really know what's true? I don'tknow what the others have done or not... I don't even always trust or believe what they rely... Are we truly unlovable? ~♦
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You are not unlovable. Clearly he loved you and most still does. Have you tried couples counseling. Sometimes it helps each person to express there thoughts and feelings in a structured setting. I hope you start to feel better.