Wow! Thank you all for your concern.

MM, I see my t tomorrow. Maybe I will share some of this thread with her. Although, even though I don't think I sound crazy, I know that other people will think that and she has told me to caution what I tell her just in case it gets nasty (I still don't think it will). I am SCARED to share with her because of this. I will tell her my fears up front and go from there. My pdoc told me that if they subpoena my records it will look badly for my husband as he left me in control of the kids for significant amounts of time even when I was psychotic. He told me that if they try to subpoena his records he will fight them tooth and nail before he releases them.

Tonight I went to my group. Between almost pulling out all of my hair (seriously) and my persistent movement, I am not sure how they let me stay let alone how I made it through. I couldn't focus on much and if something was asked of me it took enormous amounts of time to scrounge an answer. Then, once I started talking, I couldn't stop. Truthfully, I am well aware that I am manic; I'm banking on it staying moderate and under control. I have 2 prns. 1 is an increase of the Klonapin I already take, and 1 is Haldol. I am concerned if I take the Haldol that I will actually sleep but then not be able to get up for my appt tomorrow. I need that appt. Maybe I will take 1 1/2 Klonapin instead of just 1/2 Klonapin.