And Cash, I don't remember a lot of my childrens young lives because I was so caught up in my own delusions. Because I was not medicated and untreated - I became very self absorbed in the invisible world, and really - even though I thought I was taking care of my kids, now that they are 23 and 29 - I think back on their childhood, and a lot of what I remember is about me, and what I was going through.

I am not happy at how I parented and there are no do-overs.