Hello everyone,

I've been struggling with the immediate effects of an unrequited love situation and although I am in therapy and also have found helpful material online, I think there is a twist in my case that I am having trouble with.

The basic situation is that I am in a group online that occasionally meets in person as well. Along the way many people in the group become Facebook friends because that is how the group is run. I briefly met a woman there who's in her late 20s and I am in my mid-40s. At first it was just a casual thing where we saw each other at the events. But recently she posted a picture of herself in a really pretty dress. I posted a complimentary message. Later that night, she private messaged me on Facebook. I was so pleasantly surprised to hear from her (and to be honest, lonely) that I responded and we began chatting a lot on an almost daily basis after that.

I can go into some of the generally relevant stuff in the messaging if necessary, but the upshot is - although she messaged me first and although early on it seemed she felt a mutual attraction with me (and she did at one point say she was attracted to me), she changed her mind and since then has said she is not interested in me that way.

I fully admit I did not like that rejection, but when I alluded to it, she said I was throwing it back in her face, and from that point although we chatted more for a few weeks, I found it increasingly difficult to be just friendly with her while suppressing my feelings. Finally, in the past week or so, her chatting became more perfunctory and she either didn't initiate messaging on that day or answered in very bland, short answers. Towards the end she was kind of mean in her responses, no dount prompted by the whiny ways in which I was reminding her that she had rejected me.

Finally I messaged her saying I could not continue this way, and (impulsively I admit since I had had a few beers) I told her I'd leave her alone and unfriended her on Facebook. She then appears to have blocked me, so now there is no way for us to communicate online.

Anyway, that basic situation I mentioned above is that because of this group, our common interest, and Facebook, all of the wires are crossed for me here and I can turn to any of the activities I like without being reminded of her. Also we are still part of the same group so although I plan on avoiding her at the meetings or being polite if we do cross paths, I feel extremely worried and physically uneasy about this whole thing. Especially because I think she mischaracterized an important part of what happened. From her point of view, it was my fault that I want to be more than just friends and can't talk like a friend with her. But from my point of view, even taking into account the three times I was whiny, she seemed to be dictating the terms of the friendship. Whenever she wanted to be provocative she did so, but if I responded she was say I was reading into things and that she talks about sex etc. with everybody. And towards then end she clearly seemed not too willing to initiate chatting so I did not see what kind of friendship she was thinking I was ruining by either expressing my feelings if I stayed in communication with her or admitting I could not suppress those feelings and saying I needed to stop messaging with her.

But now that I have lost that connection, all the stuff I do is laden with my feelings of regret that I didn't "take her offer" and just stay Facebook friends and keep it causal.

With all of this stuff mixed up into one big mess, does anyone have any suggestions for how I can salvage something out of this? I can explain more of whatever is needed but I have gone on long enough for now. Thanks for any help.