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"can't take this much longer but I may just as well try mental equivalent of a severe migraine and a fixed in time can't stand upright but no increase in hard beat panic attack, without extreme hypersensitivity yet, but writing this really helps" depression stage.
It's a state just before the "can't sleep hypersensitivity and all of the above, deepest depression known to me, please let it end now by any means" stage.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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