Maybe the therapist can help you two work out goals for both of you. I know that when I'm depressed, I am so down there's nothing that can be said that would help, so I really understand your stance. I can also understand his stance, but he does need to understand the disease better. I think if he understands what you go through better, he can find ways to deal with his frustration better and express it without making you feel even worse.

I think a couple's visit to the therapist is a good idea for focusing goals.