I have a similar experience. For me, love is also like this. The affection and presence of people around me have very little effect on how I feel.

Except for two people. One 14 years ago, and one since 6 months. I fell in love with that first person after knowing her for about a year. We only saw each other a few days a year. I would have seen her far less if I wasn't deeply in love.

I am a very rational person and being in love was something I didn't think I was capable of. The whole experience confused me greatly. It was as if I realized why I didn't like romance and being in love, as if I knew that love for me was more irrational and powerful than for other people.
Initially, it was just a new experience and I just had to accept I was capable of falling in love. There was this idea it might be or become mutual, but my rational side sabotaged any attempt of her having a nice romantic experience with me.
But after a while, I became worried about how obsessed I could be with a single person that I didn't see very often.
Back then I felt like I had one shot at love, and that was her, and it wasn't going to happen. It was very painful, but also an emotion that I felt brought a lot of character and passion to my life. Looking back on it, it is hard to see the positive effect of all that emotional 'colour'.

I don't know how long it took. About 5 years I think. Very slowly my feelings ebbed away.

Not thinking about that person, that was not a solution. My brain has too much ability for fantasy, introspection. My internal world is too rich.

Not meeting her did work.

People always say to fall in love with someone new to get over the pain of the old love. I can't understand how that is possible.
But still maybe that is the solution. You say you don't think about him for months. If it is gone in that period, maybe you, unlike me, can find someone more healthy to love.

Maybe, with each person you love, getting over it becomes easier? And 'normal' people do this as children so when they are adults, it is more manageable for them?

You are a 21 year old girl (assuming). As a grumpy 32 year old male student who interacts with 21 year old girls on a daily basis; do not forget to have fun. If anything, make sure you don't have regrets.

The scars of love heal, though very slowly for me, and for you. The wounds of regret keep festering. They only get worse over time, I feel.