That's got to be rough. I'm so thankful for people like you, as well as first responders, who are able to do something so necessary that not very many people can do. Of course it's going to take a toll, and I hope you can find a way to care for yourself.

I recently learned about this after I was involved in a traumatic incident on the job. I work with people with severe mental illness in the community, their homes, not in an office setting. I've been doing this for years and I guess the stress eventually flipped a switch inside my brain after this last incident. I began having flashbacks and paranoia, not something I'm accustomed to. Then auto-immune issues started happening and I'm pretty sure it's all connected.
Problem is, I love my job. Yes, sometimes I fantasize about being a librarian, or working in a greenhouse, but what I do is a big part of who I am.

Maybe I should take a sabbatical, live in a hut on a beach, braid hair for tourists...