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May 24, 2016, 02:27 PM
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Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: A version of earth
Posts: 2,626
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bizi
I think 5-HTP can be activating....how long have you been taking it?
bizi
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This is the second time. I wanted to test it when stable.
But as now severe depression has set in again, I realise I'm still cycling. I was really functional, so it makes sense.
I honestly don't know whether I can do this much longer. It's the first time this happened without prior mania and after a relatively stable period of many months. I was slowly recovering from a long delusional period and anxiety, learning to function with some stability.
If it remains like this, it's rather pointless to go on, maybe. I will. I will always, but I wish this kind of thing was a bit more evenly distributed among all people.
It's so tiring. All I do is keeping the boat afloat.
But I will do further experiments with it. Taking in at the exact time that I get depressed. It's very mild for a mixed state, so it might work. I also experiment with other supplements and nicotine.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
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