I notice I often have to say that my husband does not harm my self esteem over my weight (or anything).

The reason I feel the need to do this comes from my borderline personality disorder fear of being rejected if I am not OKay.

And I hate my size and addiction and ailments, I do not feel like I am worth being loved because of my issues.

Just fyi. Not gloating about husband support, self reminders because of deep insecurity.

Edit addition: I just figured that out. I feel like I am good at breaking things down, and figuring things out, but am not good at fixing things. I don't know how to move forward, only too disassemble the past.