Sounds like you're me but in a year's time.

I'm a 21 year old guy and I'm making my way through a period of self discovery at uni. I found your post through googling "no desire for friendship", after realising that I don't think of anyone as a best friend or close friend. I find it hard to truly call someone (like a close peer) a friend however long I've spent with them. It hit me hard that almost everyone I've ever known has lost interest in me since I stopped going to school with them. My hurt feelings were probably because I thought not having lasting friends meant I was a loser, but not that I was sad any of them in particular were gone.

I've been looking at something called (covert) Schizoid Personality Disorder, and I have been wondering if my general indifference towards company, friendship, and personal attachment are necessarily a symptom of this personality type.

I'll bullet a few notable relevant qualities I think I have:

• I have almost always been content with staying at home alone, doing my own things
• I'm particularly outgoing and can just approach people, with no social fear
• I don't get noticably embarassed when I cock up
• I can have a good night when out with people, clubbing, meeting new folks
• Some times I want to be alone
• I can be pretty stone faced in social situations whatever is happening, unless I try to engage in the name of being social
• I always try to be helpful and almost overtly kind to people regardless
• I make acquaintance-friends easily because I am very accommodating
• I've found that in new long term settings (like school), I've ended up acquainting myself with a large number of people, and as a result my closer school friends would be surprised that everyone seems to know me
• My long term friendships have all been superficial, because of my lack of input away from the school scene, and little affection
• One on one I am dull as, my interests are quite solitary so they set me apart from most, and I am not a passionate person
• I don't generate many opinions passively, I tend to accept things as they are, and will find reasons to rationalise them rather than complaining etc
• When I was younger I was quite quirky, weird, eccentric, and I was aware of how other people saw me, but behaved like I wasn't
• I've recently had to learn to show emotions outwardly, instead of the mask I would usually put on
• I'm almost always melancholic and pessimistic about life, despite maybe putting on a happy persona
• My brother used to ask why I was upset all the time, but it was just normal for me
• I didn't like opening up to other people about my personal thoughts, because I wouldn't be able to explain them coherently
• I am not close to my family, my brother routinely antagonised me so i dropped him emotionally, my father was cold and barely had a conversation with me, my mother was a loving person, but I still don't feel an attachment bond with her which would break her heart
• As a kid I never liked to stand out or gain people's attention as a result of exposing myself emotionally

How well do these things describe you?

What is your opinion OP?