I'm bored. I want to run away. I could go to my parents house but last time I went psychotic. like really bad. I thought my husband was trying to steal my kid. Then there's the whole getting my shot thing. I'm so restless. I don't want to see a new T like this because I'll start an argument. I was yelling at my husband today but he reminded me I was yelling instead of talking. He's trying to get me to brush my hair. I'm so bored even took an addivan. I couldn't breath and he said it was anxiety. He's the sane one today. I need tricks to come down. I'm not ending up in the hospital over this!!! maybe I'll just wait for my shot. What if I'm all sliced up by then?? Will the nurse send me to the hospital even if it's superficial? I'm not getting a therapist until this is over. I hate the bugs all over my skin too.

I don't trust my husband to care for my son right now. He's refusing meds still. Hasn't gotten high I'm so all over the place I can't watch him. He's now typing a book to my nephew and is going to ruin my and my sisters relationship. I'm going to get my kolotipin tomorrow and start taking that to calm down. Miguel being here is keeping us on the rails. any suggestions appreciated.