Personal, please don't scorn or shrug off if you have any suggestions!! I have a heavy tendency to fall for older guys ('older' meaning at least five years). I used to put it down as I liked the maturity they had compared to other men my age, but as I become more and more honest with myself it's the control on their end and the vulnerability on mine. I have a need to feel used or unwanted, like I deserve the emotional abuse and that's the only way I'll be happy in my relationships. I know it's unhealthy and I know it can lead to putting myself at risk but I don't feel worth a true equal healthy relationship? I can't talk to my psych about it yet as I won't be able to see her for a while. Any help will be greatly appreciated I hate having to feel this way