(((musiclover82))) I didn't think about that. I have one child, but after his birth, I cried every time my doctor asked me if we were ready to have another one. By the time I was ready, I hit depression and I wasn't sleeping (mixed I guess). I wasn't diagnosed with BP yet. Then came the xanex and a host of other trial drugs to get me back stable. The idea of getting pregnant again went out of the window as my mania worsened. There have also been these pockets of time that I have been a depressed mother. My son refers to those times as "back when you would be in the bed all of the time" I missed the boat on teaching some important lessons and I am trying to catch up before he is an adult. Then came the divorce. Now I'm a single mom. I wonder if I'd still be married if I didn't have BD.