to include specifics because this is very sad to me and i want to remain anonymous. i can answer a few, however, she is my blood mother. her mistakes include, drugs and a hit n run resulting in a death. 18 years no parole.

the first actual physical meeting was when i went to the beach for senior week in 05'. i showed out, got arrested for public intox. booked in SAME jail she was waiting for trial.

adopted family bails me out and set up an interaction between her and i (through glass) of course. he actually had to bring adoption papers prove our blood relation since my name was changed

when she smiled at me i cant describe the senses of joy, fear, embarrassment, arousal and hope it gave me.

then letters started. my cousins told me when i was 6 or 7 that the singing pretty young lady that i was watching swing over a pond resembled my mom. that girl was mariah carey. "always be my baby."

i told my mother of this and every letter is signed youll always be my baby. this scares the **** out of me because its either for being cute or manipulation.

make no mistake. i believe incest is wrong. but im being honest when i say the urge to kiss and hug her is verrryyyy strong. and her words seem to make it mutual.

but the scariest of all is the visits where my uncle will leave the table to get a drink and her eyes are soooooo inviting. i cant explain it. thanks people