Your post made a lot of sense. I pretty much lived a self-defeated life, believing that I was bad and would never amount to much. I pretty much accomplished nothing too.

Two little examples I can think of at this moment, but I know there are many more. First one being is that I visited the house I grew up in. I knocked on the new owners door and introduced myself, stating that I grew up here and I'd like to take a look at the house again for a school project. I lied about the school project. I didn't want to go into the child abuse stuff. Anyway, they said, "oh yes, your the bad one" . I thought wow folks I don't even know, know that I am bad. lol I have no idea why I am so bad, just folks say I am and I believe it. Well my mother and brothers and sisters also say I am bad and worthless. So what can I say. BTW, I am the family member that was always asked to bring the "rolls" for holiday gatherings, because they never knew when I would show up. Ok, I maybe different, but that doesn't make me bad.

Growing up my mother said I'd die young because I looked like my dad, and I think she hated him. Most of my adult life, I thought I'd soon die, because of what mother said. If I had known I'd live to 52, I would have taken better care of myself. lol

The only people that put me down were family members. Friends and folks I worked with always said good things about me. But I didn't believe them, because they just didn't know me. And when given an opportunity on the job, I would always "mess" up.

But what I have learned is I am who I am. I have good things and some not so good things about me. I am human. I make mistakes. Friends who know me, accept me, flaws and all. As I accept them, with "their" flaws and good things. And you can't please all of the people all of the time. So I think with me, it has to do with self acceptance. There is always room for improvement, but if we find strength within, and our own self worth then we don't need to always look for approval from others. We can grow and be the best we can be. Just my thoughts. O- I am still growing. I have not arrived yet.