What life are you being denied exactly? What do you want to do in life that you can't do now?

You have only talked about dating on this forum, and you certainly aren't too old to do that - you just have to actually ask someone out instead of waiting for them to ask you out.

What else are you wanting to have?

It makes me sad that you wish you were dead. But I really fail to understand how you are being denied things.

I'm 31. At 28 I had just been hired into a permanent position - in a part of the world I truly didn't want to live in. But I took it because having job security is important to me - it means I can still live my life mostly the way I want to (I am limited due to geographical isolation). But I made that decision, and in the following years I've made other decisions to make it easier to enjoy my life as close as I can to what my ideal would have been.