*****Trigger warning****for s abuse by therapist

Im sorry. Having a flashback. I need to get this out away from me:
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Dear PrevT,

Before intimacy- He said having sex with him would be therapeutic and help me "get out there" in the dating world.

Later, after- He told me he only had sex with me because he felt sorry for me.

Like he feels sorry for "street people." He compared me to "street people.."

He took me outside his office. We were walking along the street when he told me he felt sorry for me like street people. We were actually seeing street people when we were talking and walking.

I had walked from my house to his office. My car was broken. My phone wasn't working. After he left me, I was in a daze and confused. What had he said? I needed to talk to you.

I remember. I walked to a pay phone. I found some change (it was long distance.) I left some kind of message on your voice mail about what he said but i forgot, you could not call me back because my phone wasn't working. I walked home. I don't remember what happened next.

I hate him.

My self esteem was low. When he said he wanted to have sex with me, I felt almost an equal. I didn't feel so bad. How bad could I be if he wanted to have unprotected sex with me? Then he said what he said and my self esteem plunged into the depths. He destroyed, smashed anything that had been left of my self esteem. I hate him.

He took no responsibility. He wasn't even kind about it.

Do you remember any of this, from years and years ago? Do you remember getting a weird voice mail from me but you couldn't call me back?