I read the article, prefab, and should read it every day to help me. Thanks for posting!

Ksrowan, hello and welcome to PC! I've helped myself very much by posting and reading other's posts on here. You already are aware of your issue, and I hope you find more help on here and with your therapist.

My only suggestion for now until you see your T is to just take a step back and relax from pursuing any current abusive relationships you have.